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3 Celebs In Favour Of ‘Soft Life’ For The Black Woman

We are doing away with the "strong Black woman" narrative

BY Naledi K

Jun 29, 2021, 03:09 PM

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More and more women are catching on to the fact that perhaps being described as a “strong Black woman” isn’t the compliment they’ve always taken it to be. More Black women are saying, “no thank you” to having the title of iMbokodo, because if we have to be put through rings of fire that actually could have been avoided to be bestowed with the title… then maybe it really isn’t worth having.

Anele Mdoda, Pastor Pushie Watson and Ayanda Borotho feel women ought to do away with following the “strong” woman narrative. These powerful female celebrities are at the forefront of the unspoken movement that says “we will be soft” and the soft life is our portion.

Black women are not saying that they are not strong… I mean have you met us? We are supernaturally strong in every essence of the world. What Black women are choosing to do is to stop accepting that their strength ought to be borne out of pain they could have been spared from and being taken for granted by people around them.

It dawned on Black women that life - without help from anything else - will always have lemons to hand to them and that’s okay because we (just like queen Beyoncé) are awesome at making lemonade. What we will not do anymore though, is accept any additional stress from another woman’s son or daughter that makes life difficult for us and then wants us to do nothing but accept the disrespect because we are strong.

Not all Black women are looking to take the phrase “soft life” to mean that we want to be on a yacht in Dubai, twerking with nothing but a thong. Some of us have taken “soft life” to mean that we will no longer tolerate unnecessary strain - not emotionally, not mentally, not physically and certainly not financially. We will go see a therapist, heal from past traumatic experiences and the wounds they’ve left on us, work smart, get our money, do our bucket list items, travel the world, love and be loved… just live softly.

Here’s what our faves say about living soft!

“Be Fragile Like A Flower” - Anele Mdoda

Anele had the whole congregation of Black Women online yelling “amen sis!” recently when a video of her preaching her powerful message went viral. 
The TV and radio personality shared the powerful words of wisdom during Khutso Theledi’s radio show segment.

“You don’t have to be strong any longer ladies. Be soft. Be flowers. Be dolls. Be vulnerable. Be taken care of... That strong Black woman thing is a trick that they sell you so that they can load you with BS and then expect you to be able to bounce back from it. You don’t bounce back from it… You don’t bounce back. You go to therapy. You heal. You close yourself off. You recuperate and you come back, but what you’re not going to do is be strong for someone else’s child,” Anele said.

“Draw Strength From My Seat Of Power And Not The Opposition Of Pain” - Ayanda Borotho

In one of her Instagram posts, Ayanda reflected one week about how being told she’s strong wasn’t going to be considered a “compliment” for her unless the people that were saying it were coming correct! Using the words to describe her power, not how much pain she can handle.

“Lesson learnt this past week ... be careful of 'the roots' of the words you use to describe yourself. I pray that one day you will realise that as beautiful as 'strength' is — as they call us strong women as if we are steel my people, kudlaliwe ngathi ... (they are playing us) — we seldom hear that men are strong. 
“I am teaching myself to get back to a place of drawing strength from my seat of power and not the opposition of pain ... a place of authority and not defence. A state of being and not of function.”
Ayanda said her issue was that “the connotations of strength and women is that its disposition is pain.” The actress said she wasn't happy being told she's “strong” if her strength emanated from pain, fear, or oppression, among other negative concepts.

“The Soft Life Is My Portion” - Pastor Pushie Watson

Speaking to Mmatema Gavu on TBN’s The Wife, Pastor Pushie made it clear that she was not going to volunteer to be mbokodo of the year.

“I’m nobody’s ride or die! Where are we riding to and why must I die? Why am I holding the sharp part of a knife. Jesus died so that I may live and have abundant life.”

“Everyone says my mother was a strong woman... and the strength of a woman is measured by how much nonsense she can handle and how much pain she can take. God forbid! That is not my portion. That is not my destiny. The soft life is for me!” Pastor Pushie said.
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♬ original sound - Mitchelle Chelimo
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