Friends are the family you get to choose and sometimes they are even better to you than your family. However, just like family, sometimes friendships are toxic and the people you call friends may very well be the ones responsible for all the drama and bad vibes in your life.
A genuine friendship is one of the most amazing relationships you will have in your life. When it’s real, a friendship will also be one of the most consistent things you have because platonic relationships between people who just “get each” other usually have a long lifespan.
However, the bottom line remains that friendships are initiated by imperfect human beings and because of that they are not immune to breaking down and eventually ending. Friendships end for various reasons, which include but are not limited to people growing/drifting apart or learning after some time that a person is not who you thought they were.
"The signs are always there."
But the most painful kind of separation is one that happens because you realise that the person you confide in and trusted with your most horrific secrets is actually an enemy of yours. It hurts like a mother***** when it actually happens but if you think about it, it shouldn’t completely shock you because when you look back you’ll soon realise that the signs were always there.
A frenemy dressed in your BFF outfit will exhibit one or all of these following signs… be on the lookout sis.
Do Well, Just Not Better Than Them…
Fake friends are jealous. Your friendship is good, as long as they are doing better than you. They don’t necessarily want you to fail, they just don’t want you to be better than them in any aspect of your life. You should be good when they look great, get a diploma while they get a PhD, drive a start-up car while they drive a luxury SUV, stay at your parents’ house while they buy a mansion… you get the picture. Whenever it’s time to celebrate you and your achievements, they are a bit sour. They are constantly in competition with you - whether you know it or not.
The Favours And General Support Offered Is One-Sided
Whenever they have an issue you stop everything to be their pillar but when it’s your turn, you are ghosted. Or, if they actually do end up helping you, they never stop telling you or other people about it. These kinds of friends are often also narcissistic. Whenever you speak about your problems, instead of listening and giving appropriate advice, the topic ends up being about them.
They Hate Your Growth
Fake friends don’t want you to grow for fear that your growth or your newfound enlightenment will change you and make you see what they really are. If you are gullible and never research anything and always take their word as gospel in every subject, then you are perfect because you become their puppet. But the minute you think for yourself and unlearn toxic traits and move towards being a better person overall, you suddenly become “boring/no fun” or “miss know it all” or “uptight”. The minute you don’t rely on them or actually have an opinion they didn’t influence or don’t avail yourself for their every emergency, then they resort to emotional blackmail or accuse you of being a bad friend.
Stay away from these kinds of friends, they have a lot of unlearning to do before they can be good friends to anybody... They need to work on themselves first.
Read: Your feelings are valid