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How To Date A Married Man Right

It's a full-time job this adultery thing, better make it count!

BY Stephanie Kapfunde

Apr 08, 2022, 01:38 PM

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Look, it's okay. You aren't the only one that's been entangled in the messy sheets of someone else's LOML. Statistically, 47% of the South African female population is single, so who are we to judge?

Maybe just maybe you stumbled upon him on Tinder and he looked too good to resist. His description might have said; "no-strings, married, here for fun". Or maybe it's even more complicated, he didn't tell you until it was too late and by then you were in too deep sis. You had already caught the feels.

Whichever way you spin it, dating a married man is an extreme sport, not only because of the judgment or the wife who might bludgeon you in your sleep but; the toll this fun new street sport you've taken up has on your itty-bitty-little heart! 

We spoke to women who have dated married men and they've made it clear that this gig is not for the fainthearted. No matter how your situation-ship came about, there seems to be a spoken or unspoken Code of Conduct, certain rules of engagement you'll need to get right otherwise it will end in tears! So who would I be if I didn't put you in the game tshomie!? You are not allowed to be single and to simultaneously fail at dating a married man too! We will not let that happen!

1. Make Sure He Can Afford It 

Cheating on one's family is an expensive endeavor and the brotherman need to be able to afford it. I beg you in the name of Jezebel to not bag yourself a broke married man, asablief! Yena, he has one job, to show you a good time in the softest way possible. If he can't, he might want to stay faithful to his beautiful little family. Each person to their lane. The least he could do is afford his mischief, it's the adult thing to do!

2. Your House, Your Rules

It's really simple, if he's not paying your rent he's not allowed in. We detest freeloaders and scrubs thina. If he wants to get hot and heavy on your 100 thread count sheets he's got to earn it. Otherwise, the fun will be had in hotel rooms.  
"The pure pleasure of sex is possible only in adulteryā€¯-unknown

3. Keep It Sexy, Keep It Safe

Several studies have already confirmed that the majority of the men that cheat do so for the sex. If you are with a married man, chances are a lot of sexing will or might happen because yes, you're smart ambitious etcetera but you're gorgeous and he really wants to bang because you're probably amazing in bed and I hate to say it, a bit more interesting in bed than his wife. So keep it interesting and make sure you have a plan to keep you protected from the potentially embarrassing business of gross STIs and worse yet preggo scares.
PS: Don't get pregnant, it won't make him yours sis. 

4. No Cooking Allowed 

Zwana! The tough truth is unless you want to be wife number two; which is unlikely. You aren't the Makoti he chose neither is he the umMkhweyana with the cows. Actually, to be fair his job is to wine and dine you as well as to enjoy your glorious company. You have no business dotting over him because, well, that's his wife's job! 

5. Don't Be Shy, Let Him Buy

Dating a married man means the soft life boo. Allow him to spend on you, these are the perks of crossing society's moral line! Spa Days, the occasional surprise gift, fine dining. Yes. 

6. This Is Not A Relationship

Remember the saying; "all the good men are taken"? Never forget that this beautiful man is not yours and that you've leased him from the woman he may or may not love. No matter what he says he won't be leaving his wife, those are the fire-rounds talking. Stay woke! Stay open to prospects who will if that's what you want; make an honest woman out of you and let bo-"I wish I'd met you sooner" serve their purpose.  

7. Look The Part 

Let me say you are sexy as hell! That is why you are in this predicament. Treat your body, have self-care days. Wear nice things that make you feel good and use his credit card because yah. Give yourself some love because this can often take a toll. It's a whole job this adultery thing!

8. He Is Yours When He Is With You 

Well, clearly he has no problem with cheating because whatever he is doing with you isn't anything else. So remember Sis, it is like having a short time loan. He is yours when he is with you and for the rest when he isn't.

9. Don't Cross Boundaries

Remember that this is not a relationship, so don't go calling him in the middle of the night saying you are just checking up on him. His wife might just answer that call and it won't end well for both of you. Just stay in your lane. 

10. Oksalayo, It Will End In Tears 

I wanted to call this Don't Catch Feelings since 9/10 times it is inevitable. But, I need you to promise me you will at least try. Otherwise, it will deffo end in tears.

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